The Delightful Insanity {Of My Life}

Ever have one of those days?

You know the ones. They start off bad and they just keep getting worse. Mabey it was the fact that i desperatley needed a sleep in (have had about 8 hours sleep over the last 3 nights) and could have had it as i was home alone today, but got woken up by a way-to-early phone call. Followed that with some shitty conversations that left me pretty upset, and theres a start to my crappy day. The rest goes like this:

• I accidently overpaid a bill by $400, (and they wont give me my money back, they say it goes to the next bill, but i need it for this month...only being Xmas and all),

• I realised that i have 5 commisioned canvas's to complete, have to take EVERYTHING off all my walls to be painted, have a pile of laundry that rivals Mt. Everestt to get through, need to pack for our trip to NZ, have to drag my 3 kids to the shops tomorrow to run last minute errands before our trip, need to bake 30 cupcakes and one cake and make some apple sauce...all BEFORE monday.
• Then i find a huntsmen spider on my coffee cup ( i FREAKIN HATE SPIDERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
• Then i open one of my new-ish ikea drawers only to have it fall apart (and everything in it fall out).
• Then i realise i need to get to the bank to sort something and get there at 12:02 by there clock...2 minutes too late. Drive all the way back home. Realise i forgot to return the video (next to the bank). Drive back. Return the video. Drive home. Realise i forgot to pick up something at the laundromat (next to the video store) Am NOT driving back.
• Make more coffee (without the spider this time) Check the washing to see if its done yet. Realise i never started the cycle. Go and add more coffee to my cup of coffee....sit down and feel sorry for myself for awhile.
• So then i decide i will get myself some comedys and watch then to make me feel better tonight.  Starting to feel good again. Drive back down to the video store. Get there...realise i left my wallet at home! Shit. Drive back, get my wallet, get videos...go home.
• Got the kids a dvd (ELF) that they could watch on the new portable DVD player i got off layby yesterday. (theres nothing bad about that....just added it in anyway)
• Make myself some yummy dinner.....then completely burn it (so much so i set off the fire alarm).
• Eat it anyway.
• The kids come home and i set up there DVD. Thay are so excited to be watching their own little TVs. Halfway through it decides to stop working, kids get upset, mummy silently curses. 30 minutes later (and plenty of swearing under my breath) i send three teary kids to bed with the promise that we will take it back and get a new one tomorrow (will now have to go to 2 different shopping centres tomorrow....mental note: pick up some wine for myself while at the shops.....mabey, ummmm 3 bottles).
• Which leads to now. Tired and still feeling sorry for myself. But off to watch some movie with Drew Barrymore and Hugh grant in it. I also got Little Miss Sunshine for tomorrow. I know i will need more cheering up after dragging my bubs through 2 shopping centres, packing everthing on my walls into boxes, baking the cupcakes, cake and making the apple sauce, and every other freaking thing i have to get done before we go.

So...back to my original question. Have you ever had one of those days? Cause if so, i'd love to hear it.
In fact, if you actually read through that entire post, and still have the energy to leave a comment then i am impressed. In fact, in fact.....i've just at this very moment, as i am typing , have decided that what might make me feel better is to give something away. So heres what i'll do. Leave a comment with either a story of your "one of those days" or a fun quote and before i go to NZ, i'll randomly pick a name and whomever wins will get a free painted quote on canvas by me. I'll do whatever quote you want. The catch is, i wont be able to send it out to you till after Xmas....but you'll get it for the new years.

Hope your all having a better weekend that me so far, lol.
xo
Z

Need to be embarrased on a daily basis? Have kids.

Really, they can be so good for your self esteem sometimes. I mean, it starts form the moment you get pregnant , swell up like a balloon, vomit in public places from morning sickness, and break out like your in high-school again. Then they are born and they do things like vomit quietly down your back just before you are about to go out (without you knowing of course). They scream endlessly at the supermarket, the poo through all there nappies when your out....the list is endless. And when they are that little you catch yourself thinking, at times, that you just cant wait until they start talking and acting like little human beings. And for awhile its really cute, because they have this babyish way of saying things, but cant quite put full sentences together. And then they point to someone on the bigger side and say (as loud as they can) "mum! Why is she so fat???"  and all of a sudden those days of screaming and crying as babies no longer seems so bad.

I mean , there was the time that Entoni and i were in an elevator (the worlds SLOWEST elevator, i might add) with a bigger woman and Entoni aksked me , very loudly "mum, why is she so fat?" All i could do was look at her and apologise. I turned to him and said "entoni, we dont say things like that it's rude" to which he replied" But why...it's not like i said she was old or ugly even though she is. I just asked why shes so fat" Nice .

Or when the twins were still quite young and they couldn't say FOREHEAD. It came out as fu*$head instead. So as we were grocery shopping one day, they decided to point to there forehead and say FUC*HEAD as loud as they could as many times as they could. I'm sure you could picture the looks i was getting. Again, Nice.

Mind you...we've had a good run lately. Well until last week , that is, when Tatiana decided to tell her teacher that i left her and the other kids all alone in the house on the weekend while i went out, and that Kody got outside onto the road, got hit by a car, and went to hospital. {???!!!!????} So the teacher pulled me aside when i came to pick them up from school that day and i had to assure her that that would never happen i have never left the kids alone, and Kody (who was with me) was obvoisly not hurt in any way. Thankyou Tatiana for that one. LOL....anyone who knows me knows i cant even leave my kids with my friends, i am so over-protective. Then, just in case that wasn't enough a few days ago i again got pulled aside by the teacher, this time to be told that Entoni had told 2 girls in class that he wanted to have sex with them (he's only 6, remember).   Really?????    He was told it was inappropriate but did it again anyway and then got sent to the office. So as we are walking to the car i ask him where he got that from, and as i do another teacher walks past and says, "yes, i heard about that...love to hear what he says". Great. So what.... does the whole school know that my 6 year old boy approaches girls asking for sex? LOL...thier teacher probably thinks i leave my kids alone in the house while i randomly go out to have sex with strangers or something. Yes...definitely some more embarrasing moments to add to the list, thanks kids.

Anyway....heres a pic for the 365 challenge. Entoni took this one of me (you can see him in my sunnies).

You need a man to go shopping at Ikea

(this is a long post, but worth the read if you EVER plan to go shopping at IKEA)

Really, in fact, shopping at Ikea is something you need to really sit down and plan days before you actually go, not much unlike planning a small trip away. Anyone who has shopped, and i mean seriously shopped at Ikea will know what i am talking about. You see, most of our furniture is from Ikea. They could probably even use our house as an add for them. It's really quite sad considering my great love/hate relationship with that store. Love their stuff....hate everything else about them.

So back to the planning. I'll give you a few tips on how to successfully shop at Ikea. First you need a list. This you could probably start months before the actual trip. To start your list you will either need a catalouge or a computer ( I will give them this, they have an amazing on line site. You can even create your own combinations of storage solutions against your choice of wall colours and wall paper, and on your choice of flooring. Thats cool.) Now the reason i say you could start this months ahead is because ikea has such a great range of stuff, and their catalouge is so full of ideas that whether or not you plan to, you WILL eventually re-design your entire house (all in your head of course) with Ikea stuff. So before you know it days, even weeks have passed and your "to Buy' list is now 3 pages long. You will now need the next week or so to come back to reality and start shortening your list to what you really truly need right now. Which , if your anything like me, can be a real challenge because i think i really and truly need EVERYTHING on my 3 page list. After seeing all my items of choice displayed so cleverly in the Ikea catalouge, i really dont know how i can NOT have them.

Now dont forget in all this planning to take MEASUREMENTS. Sounds obvious , i know, but something so easily forgotten. So once you have you re-re -revised list ,  with measurements , you are ready....right? Wrong.

Next you need to plan what you are wearing for the day. Because although you think you will be in and out in under an hour.....you will not. Trust me. Comfortable shoes are a must. Then there's your other all important necessities... water (for hydration), snacks (for energy), money (for lunch...yes, you will still be there at lunch time. Rest assured their lunches are fairly cheap and they have quite a selection) and , most importantly, a MAN. Yes, trust me....you need a man. Unless YOU ARE ONE OF THOSE GYM-JUNKIE SUPER STRONG I-HAVE-MUSCLES-BIGGER-THAN-ANY-MAN-YOU-KNOW-kinda girl (sorry for the caps...that was an accident) you WILL need a man. Oh....and go to bed early the night before, as you will need your rest. Oh, and stop for a super-large take away real coffee. Trust me, you will need it. Ikea only has $1.50 push a button and my cappuccino comes out of a machine - coffee, and that will not get you through a shopping trip in that place.

Now, i could just imagine all the women out there going.....a man? What do i need to bring a man for? Pffft....i can go shopping without a man.....i do it all the time. I bought my couch without my husband and survived....and my washer.....

Yes, and i am sure you have bought all sorts of furniture without your man around and have lived to tell the tale. However , ikea is different . Really, trust me when i say, they may have great stuff, fantastic and inspiring displays, and lots of other great little buys,. But the one thing they DO NOT have , at all, in any way shape or form, is service. And i literally mean no service. They greet you at the bottom of the escalators at the entrance of the store with a pencil and paper, for writing down the location of all the things you want to purchase, and that is pretty much the last time you see a sales person until you get to the register. They are there, however, in plentiful amounts, to take your money from you. Everyonce in awhile, during your shopping trip, you will come across a salesperson. But he /she will be trailed by about 30 other customers desperate for some sales service. Otherwise you are on your own. You and your man.

And now you are saying....so? I still dont get why i need a man.

OK...well let me just tell you a little story about a woman (me) who thought she could go shopping at Ikea without a man (after all, I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR....right?)

So i get there with my well planned list and my coffee and i start. I am on a mission. I know what i want and will not deter from the list. Oh....but how cute is that basket? THAT wasn't in the catalouge. If it WAS in the catalouge it would be on my list. (in the plastic carry bag it goes it goes).

One and a half hours later i have ditched the plastic carry bag for a trolley and have still not gotten anything on my list. I have however written down the location of everything i want on my little paper (you have to go the the "warehouse" and get your furniture yourself. I was serious when i said NO SERVICE AT ALL). I get to the warehouse and realise i need another trolley to put my furniture in. No probs, i can push 2 trolleys. ( I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR ! ).

OK, i find the first bookshelf i need. I start to pull it in it's flat-packed box, from the shelf. Shit. F$@#. This thing is heavy! I check the tag to make sure i am getting a book shelf and not a flat-packed house. Yep, it's just a bookshelf. OK....i can do this (I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR?) 15 minutes go by and i am sweating and panting, but the bookshelf still hasn't moved. (I AM WOMAN....hear me beg for help).

Finally some kind man comes to my aide and together we get the bookshelves on the trolley. Luckily the rest of the furniture is not as heavy and i manage to get all the rest on my own, but not without much difficulty (more swearing than i'd like to admit) and many a sympathetic glances, let me tell you. I then very carefully push my 2 trolleys over to the checkout so that the checkout chick can unload all my purchases just so that i can the load them all back in.....again. And for this pleasure i pay a good $700 and a bit.

OK....i am almost there. Just get to the car, get my stuff in the car, and i am on my way home! I will have been triumphant in my attempt to shop at Ikea without a man.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

ahhahahahahahahhahaha

ahahahahahaha

(sorry, just need to take a moment to laugh at my own stupidity)

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

OK done.

So...i get out to the carpark with my 2 really heavy trolleys. My car is about 4 isles to my left. No probs. I push my trolley across a walkway and start heading towards my car. People are driving past me either shaking their heads or laughing. I pretend not to notice. Then all of a sudden, i realise that the carpark is built on a slant...only just a slight slant, but enough of one to make both of my trolleys start moving in the OPPOSITE direction of where i want them to go! (which, i might add, is also the direction of moving cars!). Gone are the sympathetic glances and chuckle, as they are replaced with frustrated drivers swerving away from the out-of-control woman with 2 shopping trolleys. Realising this 2 trolley thing isn't working i stop (right in everyones way, but i just physically CAN NOT move the 2 trolleys out of the way!) and pack everything into the one trolley....not an easy task. I ditch the other trolley and start moving again, only to realise that what i did not consider is that this one trolley is now twice as heavy and almost impossible for me to move it. It can, however , move itself and i spend the next 15 minutes following my trolley around as IT leads ME around the carpark (and FURTHER away from my car) whilst i desperately just try and stop it from careening straight into someone eles car. Finally i manage to get it to a full stop. I look around to see people walking past trying not to snicker at this amusing display of womanism (ha). I stand there for what feels like forever trying to look like i have a reason for stopping (checking my phone, pretend to be looking for my car keys) while i A.  figure out what i am going to do and B.  try not to cry. Finally this family (which includes in it a big strong man) walks up to a car not to far from me and starts unpacking their stuff. I swallow what little pride i have left and walk over to the man. I stutter and point to my trolley, and really didn't have to say much.

him: "let me guess, you need some help getting your trolley to your car?"

me: "yes please"

him: "no problems....wheres you car"

me: mumbling with utter embarrassment "about 6 aisles down" (remeber, the trolley took me further away)

him: chuckling "now how did you manage to get all the way here?

me: wishing the ground would just open up and take me away from this world! "please dont ask":

him "chuckle chuckle chuckle" and thinking...."silly little woman...what was she thinking coming here without a man?"

So after a long trip to my car and yes, he thankfully put it all in for me as well, and many a many THANKYOU SOOOOOOOOO much's from me, i was finally on my way home. A little defeated. OK.... totally defeated, exhausted and promising myself i would NEVER shop at Ikea again! (well, not without a man in tow, anyway).

So there you have it. My very embarrassing story of how i thought i could shop at IKEA withou a man. Trust me. Bring a man. They are good for something, lol.

Z

rainy days, rambling, and randomness

Yes, it is still very hard for me to get to my computer to do anything. When i say 'my' computer i am referring to the old, disease ridden family puter, not my Brand-spanking new Mac that i SHOULD have by now, but still don't. So forgive me while my posts are still far and few in between.

(   i say this as if i still have any blog readers out there who still read my blog, lol!  ...."Zina? who's she? didn't she used to have a blog??? been so long since shes posted regularly i thought maybe she fell off the face of the earth or something!"  )

Anyway, here on the Gold Coast we are having NONE of that sunshiny and beautiful sunny weather that we were teased with only just last week. It's rain rain and more rain. Which is kinda good, because I've been stuck in my house for days with sick kids and messes like you would not believe. We are currently moving some furniture around and getting some new stuff, so the house is quite a disaster while every things getting moved around. I wish i could show you some pictures, but i can't get my pictures onto this computer!

WE got our carpets cleaned yesterday.....so very very overdue. So overdue in fact that guests would come over and ask me where my rug was from. "it's very unique" they would say. And i would say "oh, thats not a rug , it's just the layer of dirt, grime, and spilt food that lives on my carpet."

Of course it was raining yesterday, the day i got my carpets done. So i was constantly chasing the kids around as they came from outside yelling "wipe your feet on the mat.....get your shoes off....NOT ON THE CARPET!!!!!!!!!!!!" Of course, as all mums with young kids know, there's about a 60 second delay from when the words leave your mouth to when the child actually registers what you are saying. So it is usually not until after i tackle them on my newly cleaned carpets, remove their muddy shoes and throw the shoes (and the child) OUT of the room , that they realize what i was shouting about.

No, i am not OCD, but i would just like to see my carpets stay clean for at least one whole day! But speaking of OCD, let me tell you about my neighbors. The little old couple who have lived next door to us for as long as i can remember. THEY are what you may call OCD. If one of our trees slightly peeps over the fence, Allen (my neighbor) will actually come into our backyard without asking and cut it back, lol. This used to infuriate my husband to no end until i pointed out that he was only doing what Adam should have done in the first place. Now he's got on less thing to add to his TO DO' list.

We have 2 massive big trees in our front yard (as well as some smaller ones) but the 2 big trees have alot of leaves on them (as trees do). And those leave often fall off the tree (as leaves do) and land out the ground. Now our neighbors are constantly on our backs about having leaves blow onto their lawn. And really , there's not that many that blow over. There is a fence between us that stops most of them. Our yard however is covered in them, but it doesn't bother us. But when it's blowing gale force winds, as it has been this week, they do get more of our leaves than normal. In fact the entire neighborhood is covered with leaves and debris from everywhere....not just our house. Gale force winds people.....what do they expect? So yesterday i am getting in the car and it's sprinkling, and the winds are blowing quite fiercely and there's Jan (our neighbor) out on her driveway with a dustpan sweeping up the leaves!

Did i mention it was raining and blowing up a storm?

She then turns to me and yells...."when are you getting rid of that tree????!!!" to which i reply "when i can afford it Jan. now go back inside your going to make yourself sick!"  { I don't really want to get rid of my trees, but after years of arguing with the neighbors i finally said I would do it.....when i could afford it. Which of course will be forever away. I mean what with the backyard that needs fixing, the tyres i need for my car, the repairs that need to be done on my bathrooms, the painting jobs desperately needed for the whole house....well you get the idea. But at least they can't argue much with that. }

And apperantly, they are constantly bitching about us to other people. In fact one day they were at a nursery when they bumped into my friend and her husband. They had no idea that they were my friends....they were just chatting to them while they were looking and started to bitch about their annoying neighbors with their annoying trees....until Fads' (my friend) worked out they were talking about us! LOL.

Each to their own i guess.

Anyway....congrats to you if you actually read through all my ramblings. I will reward you with a few funny links Rozzie sent me. You have to a least check out the ebay one.....sooooooo worth the look. Just make sure you read her reasons for selling.

ebay link

say what???

say what...spoof

I am off the the shops now to find some new pillows for my couches! Have a great day.

Z